Spiders. Flying. Toilets. You name it. No matter how bizarre, I was probably afraid of it. It was a terrible way of going through life, and it hit a boiling point right around my sophomore year of college - on September 11, 2001. When so many people were experiencing loss and the trauma of the images they'd seen on tv, I feared random acts to the point, I was afraid to leave my home (a tiny little private dormitory). And in fact, I didn't...for an entire month. Somehow, I had been scared from generalized anxiety to PTSD. After years of doctors and many therapy sessions, being told to relax did not help.
And then one day, I stumbled across my mother's stash of yarn. I picked out this fuzzy black yarn. I hadn't done any knitting in a couple of years, so I fumbled over a cast on and knit myself a scarf in one sitting. The world had melted away and nothing else mattered.
Fast forward another few years and countless projects later. I finally figured out why knitting commands so much from me. It changed my life. When I couldn't meditate on my own, repeating k2 p2 in my head as I finished each row of a ribbing, I was, in a sense, meditating. If I focused enough, I could lose myself in the fiber. So, no matter how many battles I had to fight with horrible bosses, unruly patients, or my husband, I could calm myself with knitting.
I'm proud to say that eleven years after that turning point, my panic attacks are few and far between, PTSD is a thing of the past, and I'm starting to claw my way in to the fiber arts industry. Standing in the shadows is not an option for me anymore.
I have been groomed for greatness my whole life, it's about time I finally got there. Even if it's only in my own eyes. Starting this business will hopefully only be the beginning. What has knitting done for you?